(TWILIGHT SRPARKLE reading a book outside that restaurant in Ponyville. LILLY runs in from left, frantic)
LILLY: Hey, everypony! The last shipment of Trixie's Miracle Elixir just pulled into town!
(TWILIGHT looks up from book as a herd of ponies rushes by her, carrying her along with them as they pass.)
(Within the crowd. TWILIGHT is riding awkwardly on BON BON's back as BON BON rushes along with the rest of the crowd. In the background, a pony has one foreleg extended to hold another pony back.)
TWILIGHT: What's going on? What's all the commotion about?
BON BON (not making eye contact): Haven't you heard? It's Trixie's Miracle Elixir! It can do anything.
(LYRA runs in from right and slams into BON BON, attempting to knock her off course. TWILGHT loses balance and flops over, now lying across both LYRA's and BON BON's backs. In the background, the pony being held back pulls his/her head back, mouth agape.)
LYRA: It can do everything!
(As LYRA and BON BON explain, they press their foreheads together, aggressively trying to steer each other off course. In the background, the pony being held back bites the other pony in the arm. The bitten pony releases a yelp. TWILIGHT looks back at the background ponies.)
BON BON (Glaring at LYRA): But apparently they halted production this morning.
TWILIGHT (Looks back from looking at the background ponies): Halted?
LYRA (Glaring at BON BON): Yeah. Something about the unethical way Trixie makes the stuff.
BON BON: The point is, this is the last shipment of Trixie's Miracle Elixir that will ever show up in Ponyville.
BON BON and LYRA (to each other): And I'm not letting you get any before I do!
All the ponies are rushing towards the North gate, where a delivery truck is parked. Just before the ponies get to the truck, DERPY HOOVES intervenes, forelegs spread wide to establish a wall between the mob and the truck. She wears a serious expression.)
DERPY: Ponies! Sisters
Look at yourselves. Violence and mobbing over whatan elixir that nopony really even knows what it does? Is this what we've resorted to? Is this what we've become? What happened to the love, the kindness, and the general respect for your fellow pony? I, for one, am appalled. This isn't the Ponyville I knowthe Ponyville I've come to love. The Ponyville I know would turn away from anything that even threatened to separate its people. The Ponyville I know would band together against such threats to friendship, not embrace them. But you ponies, you have embraced this separation. You have chosen to selfishly cling to this little vial, and I've watched in shock as it's torn us all apart! Come to your senses, sisters, and join me in removing this abomination from our fair city!
TWILIGHT (among crowd. Deeply moved): Derpy, that was beautif
DERPY (cutting her off. Hangs hoof over head and pulls nose up, accentuating nostrils): Look! I'm a pig! Brawk brawk brawk!
TWILIGHT (dry): And now it's gone